Post #3-God's Faithfulness

First of all, thank you to everyone who prayed and helped me out financially last quarter.  I want you to know how much it means to me.  God supplied more than enough, and now all I need is $1900.00, not $2500.00 for my last quarter fees.  God is sooooo GOOD!! He is nothing but faithful to me.

Third Quarter is here and graduation is approaching real quickly!  The school has been flying by and outreach is just around the corner.  I have to admit, I’m exhausted, but it’s worth all of the work.  We have completed the Old Testament and are now in the New and it is soooo good!! At first, with going from Old, to New, my brain was having a hard time switching over because the people are in a completely different place. But With studying the bible Chronologically, I have seen that the Old Testament is looking forward to the cross and the stories within the books are what created a need for a savior. And the New Testament is about looking back at what Christ did on the Cross.

This week we are studying Galatians and our Key Verse is, Galatians 5:1, “For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery”.  God used Paul to speak to the Galatians to teach them that salvation is a free gift from God.  They needed to know that they cannot reach salvation through works, but only by faith and believing in Christ. It started with a promise to Abraham, then the law came and then Jesus fulfilled that Promise. This is a prime example of God’s faithfulness to his people.  He was faithful in his promise of a savior, even though his people time and time again, were not faithful to him. He sent his son to save them and it was important for them to see that.  He did nothing but pursue them because of his jealous love for them.  I think that is AMAZING!!  It brings so much into perspective for me.  His love is steadfast because he loves his people so much, and he loves me.  If anything, this is what I have learned most from my time here doing this school.  God has given me a greater revelation of his love for me and shown me that his love will never waver, because he is faithful. And he has been nothing but faithful to me.

     Outreach!!!

 I’m very excited to tell you that i will be going to Zambia, Africa for about a month from the end of June, until the end of July (we don’t have exact dates yet).  As you know, this is super exciting for me because God has placed a passion in me for the people and the kids of Africa. I don’t have details yet, because my leaders are in the process of planning the outreach, but I know God has called me to go…so I’m going! I wish I could share more, and as soon as I have details, I will let you know and keep you updated.

Prayer Requests:

Ø  That I don’t get burned out in homework and am able to finish the school strong.  The work load is massive, but VERY WORTH IT!

Ø  Wisdom and direction for my outreach leaders in choosing places for us to go while in Africa.

Ø  Finances.  I need $1900.00 for the rest of my school fees and then there are outreach fees on top of that! J. I need $350.00 for a deposit for outreach by Thursday, so we can get the plane tickets before the price goes up.

Ø  More revelation of God and his faithfulness!!! I want to see everything he has for me and don’t want to miss out

Ø  Direction for after the school.  I have a couple opportunities and have been praying, but still am not clear on what to do.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! If you would like to support me financially, you can send a check to 11141 Osborne St, Lake View terrace, CA, 91342. Please email me and let me know if God is leading you to do so, so that I can know what is coming in. Love you all!!

February Update

As part of our weekly assignment and  after we study every book, we write a book application. Through the book of Ezekiel, God showed me some amazing stuff about myself and my relationship with him, so I thought I would share it with you because God did some amazing stuff in my heart.  I sound slightly angry in the beginning, but please keep reading, because it's important to me for you all to see what God has been doing with me.

God has been showing me a lot this week, and last, about his faithfulness to us as a father.  He is a father who follows through.  His actions come from his love for us, and it is for me just as much anyone else.  His character is portrayed through his love for me and he will never leave me stranded.  I feel like since I have really realized this, my whole brain thought has changed.  I want to be just as faithful to him as he is to me because he deserves it.  He obviously deserves a lot more and I deserve nothing, but he does it all, not because he has to, but does it because he loves me. 

            Last week I was to the point of giving up and being so angry at God.  I didn’t really know why I was feeling that way, and that was the most frustrating part about it all.  I was so mad at him and feeling abandoned and alone, but at the same time, annoyed because he is always there.  I just wanted a reason to be mad at him because I felt like he was going to leave me at any second.  When I stepped back and was actually thinking about the way I was feeling, I realized that I was doing with him, the same exact thing I do to people.  Once I get close to someone, I push them away because I’m so terrified that I’m going to get hurt, so I do it before they get the chance.  I had never felt that way towards God before and thought there was no explanation for it.  When I did take that step back, I realized I was doing the same exact thing to God as those people I get close to.  What is really cool about this is, is that I actually feel close to God, and with my natural reaction of pushing people away, God showed me that he is closer to me than ever!  To me, this is just confirmation that I'm in the right place and learning God's word is showing me truth about myself, and most importantly, learning truth about God.  Amazing how God can use a really hard week, to show me something life changing!

            God, thank you for never leaving me, even when I’m angry at you.  Thank you for constantly pursuing me, even when I run away.  Thank you for being my heavenly father.  Thank you for loving me, when I feel unloved.  Thank you that you  don’t judge me for my weaknesses and want only what is best for me.  Thank you for being gracious and merciful and loving and amazing in every way.  Thank you for knowing my heart and seeing me for who I really am. 

Thank you guys for reading and please keep me in your prayers.  God is obviously doing amazing things in the midst of a very challenging time. Every second has been worth it!

MY FIRST POST!!! :)

I first off want to thank you all who have been praying for me and supporting me in my finances! I have seen God’s provision and am so happy that you guys are a part of a testimony of faith. J

 I can tell you that the school has been amazing, and one of the best things that ever happened to me.  Really getting to see who God is and his love for his people has been awesome! I know I have said this before in the emails that I have written you guys, and it’s true!! I totally believe that!  But I also want to be honest with you and tell you that I have been struggling.  I have been realizing more and more of the dirt that I have in my life.  The things that need to be taken out from the root that I know should not be there!!! 

There are so many reasons for me being here and I think this is one of the biggest things…..  God has been breaking me down little by little and it hurts.  I have been battling with whether or not I should share this stuff with you, and have come to conclusion that this is just as important as telling you everything else.  I’m in a place of brokenness.  I’m dealing with stuff that hurts really bad, but I know this is all in God’s plan.  He wants me kneeling and before his cross so that I can see him clearly.  With everything at his feet and out of my own hands.  I have realized that I am a very prideful person because I am always wanting to do everything by myself.  I never considered that being prideful because I thought it was just me being independent, but I was SO WRONG!  We can’t do anything by ourselves.  God continually was searching and showing himself to the Israelites.  Instead, they put idols before him and were constantly wavering in their faith.  Having a fear of man, instead of a fear of God.  All God wanted was them to see him and put their trust in him.  He wanted all of their attention with no strings attached, except for believing in him.   I have been so convicted about this stuff because I am always doing this!! Always!! Not trusting him to handle the things that I think that I should be able to do by myself.  Not letting go, and letting God as I should be doing.  I have also been dealing big time with my self-image and who I am.  I have this obsession with being perfect and doing everything perfect.  I know that obsession seems like such a strong word, but I feel like it is what best describes how I’m feeling when I make a mistake and am not doing it to my own standards, or the standards that I think people have of me.  I know a lot of this crap comes from my past.  A lot of the times, I feel like I should be over this stuff, but I’m not and then it makes me so angry!!  Yes I have reasons to be angry, but the anger should be pointed at Satan and not God.  God is my redeemer and I know is going to use this for my future.  He is going to use it for good and I have already seen that in my life.  I think about the story of Joseph and the hardships that he had to go through, but the good that God used out of it.  His brothers hated him and sent him to death, but everywhere Joseph went, God was with him and he found favor in everything that he did, because he had an inheritance to fulfill.  God really spoke to me during this story and told me I was just like Joseph.  I think this is absolutely amazing, because even through all of this stuff that I’m dealing with, I know I don’t have to do it alone, and will never have to.  God is carrying me and always has been.  I recently looked up the meaning of my name because we were talking about the name meanings of the people in the book of Ruth.  And my name means “He sees or He is watching”.  WOW!!  That totally speaks to me and I never thought before to see what it meant, but with the things I have had to deal with in my life, I know it is a confirmation of God being there.  He always has been watching me even when I didn’t know him and I truly believe that.  I don’t think I would have been alive if this wasn’t true. God is so amazing and I’m so grateful that he is my father, my mother, sister, friend and redeemer.  He is everything to me and I want so badly to live in his perfect will for my life.  I know that it can be painful and it has been, but it is so worth it!

Thank you guys for taking the time to read this.  I really want all of you to be a part of what God is doing in my life.  I need you guys behind me because all of you have a special part of my heart.  I mean that with all sincerity!!!  It is a testimony of what God is doing and I really want to share it with you.

One last thing…..please add me to your prayer list because I can always use it!!! J

PRAYER REQUESTS

·         I had no idea how much work this school was going to be until I actually came.  So I could really use prayer for me to not focus on finishing my homework or being perfect, but to be aware of what God is saying to me through it.

·         SLEEP!!!....I haven’t been sleeping all that well because I have my thoughts and homework hanging over my head all the time.  To have a peace so I can rest better (we all know 2-4 hours a night is not healthy…lol)

·         Unity with my classmates.  There are 12 of us and they are all absolutely amazing!!!  We have already gotten really close and get along really well, but praying for us as a whole would still be great so we can keep what we have and build on it.

·         And of course…..financial support.  God totally supplied the first $2500.00 for the first quarter and I know that he will for the next two quarters.  I need $5000.00 more and I still have some time to get it in, but I would like to have it before that time if it’s possible.  Or shall I say, just to have it in God’s timing.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUPPORT ME FINANCIALLY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I CAN TELL YOU HOW TO GO ABOUT THAT.  PLEASE DONT FEEL OBLIGATED, IT IS JUST IF YOU FEEL GOD CALLING YOU TO DO SO. THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!!
Jessie Porter